Thursday, July 29, 2010

An Open Letter to My Face

Dear Face,

Usually, I like you. The freckles are kinda cute, and I like my eyes, and my teeth are amazing (thank you $5000+ in orthodontia!), but we need to have a talk. We need to talk about...


Let's be honest, face, I'm not getting any younger, and I aged out of puberty several years ago, so please explain to me why you feel the need to allow giant zits to come visit for a while. Seriously, these things do not like you, Face. They do not want to be your friend. They are angry and volatile, and if you are not careful, Face, they will take over.

Face, let's face the facts, shall we? We are no longer 15, and while I may want a youthful appearance, I don't want to look 15 if acne is in the picture! You know I don't have time to apply concealer, foundation, and powder to these places every day. I have a toddler. A toddler, Face! Do you know what toddlers do to concealer, foundation, and powder? They spill it everywhere and wipe all of it off your visage with their headbutting and their sloppy kisses and their feet waving all over you while they nurse!

Maybe I should take better care of you, Face. Maybe I should wash you more often than once a day. I do love you; I really do. You're the only Face I've got.

Let's age together gracefully, okay?

I'll forgive you this time, Face. But don't let it happen again!


1 comment:

  1. Totally agree about the braces thing! It put a dent in my parent's pocket, but I am ever-grateful. =) A-men about zits, sister! The worst part is they think they can visit right before Aunt Flo. What the heck? Do our faces look like revolving to constant company? I think not! Be gone zits, be gone!